I have a love/hate relationship with this saying. I think it's great to be congruent between words and actions, and I definitely strive for this congruence in my own life. BUT, this saying makes me feel bad, too, because you can only go for so long on the words of others. This saying often lets me down, makes me feel bad when I realize that some people are not carrying out what they say. I detest when people say, "Oh, you mean so much to me as a friend, blah, blah, blah," but then they fail to show me there is any truth in this statement. It's so frustrating!
Now I'm sure I've instilled a sufficient amount of paranoia in all of you who are reading this. Of course, that wasn't my intention at all, but since being home, this situation has happened to me more than once. "Oh, Kelly, I'm so glad you're home," but then nothing, no inkling that I even matter a little bit or that there will be any effort to spend time with me. I wonder if I am the same, but I try so hard to be congruent; when I say I'm going to do something, you will be hardpressed to find a time that I don't actually do it. Otherwise, I don't say it. And sure, we all get caught up in the niceties of daily living ("Oh my gosh, we HAVE to get together for sure!" with no intentions of ever doing so) or the occasional slip-up of scheduling ("Shit, I double-booked!"), but for my own self-esteem, for purely selfish purposes, I wish people could be more honest with themselves and others. Damn it, don't make me feel so special and worth your time if you're not going to give it to me! Spare me, please!
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1 comment:
Sounds good Grandma. I would really like that. :)
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