It's Late.

I like to read. It's comforting that some people can write so vividly, so emotionally that it just speaks to my heart in unexplainable ways which I certainly appreciate. In particular, the Traveling Pants series is appealing to me lately. The author is so eloquent in her descriptions of emotions that I can't help but feel grateful to her for being able to give life to the spattering of affects that lie inside of me. Just like a quote that Kelly presented me with, presumably written by Alan Bennett: "The best moments in reading are when you come across something--a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things--which you had thought unique and particular to you. Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out and taken yours." I don't think I could have said it better.

After reading almost all of my book tonight, I got to thinking about stories and creating them and living them. Really, we all seem to be creations of our own stories, though our stories can't always go the way that we would like them to because life is really a compliation of six billion people's stories all smashed together. That got me wondering even further: Is this really the difference between religion, spirituality, and atheism? Think about it - atheists believe that we all make our own destinies, paths, whatever you want to call it. Atheists believe all six billion of us in this world make up our own stories and we make our decisions based upon these individual stories. On the other hand, religious people who believe in a god (let's say, Christians) understand the world to be comprised of one person - GOD - writing the story that ends up being six billion people's lives. Religious people want to know that they are not just a product of mass chaos; they want to believe their life has purpose, meaning, and connection to a larger whole of something...anything. Spirituality might lie somewhere in between, though I haven't really figured that out yet. As different things happen in my life, I think I waver between the two. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm an atheist, but sometimes, I can't quite see what's in store. I can't quite see how it's all going to or supposed to come together. Sometimes, I don't want to, though. And other times, I don't think it ever will.