Sad.

I'm sad today. Everytime I get a comment, post, email, message, etc from someone back "home" (this term is used loosely to mean anyone in the midwest - Green Bay or Minneapolis), I tear up. It's harder than I thought to be out here with no one...I don't have anyone comfortable to call up and ask to meet me for coffee so I can vent, I don't have anyone to laugh with about dumb things we did or used to do, I don't have anyone to hug. The last one is the worst. When leaving Arizona after visiting Tyler, I didn't want to let him go. I went for over a month without a really solid hug from someone I know and love. No physical contact is really draining and makes me feel lonely. I mean, in some ways, I really like not having any connections out here, not feeling obligated to do anything, spending time on myself, focusing on homework without any distractions. But really, it's much more difficult not having comfortable social support out here. I have casual social support from my roommates and colleagues; they will definitely listen to me if I need it, but everyone is still figuring out everyone else along with their own roommates, their situations, their work load, their finances, etc...all the things that come along with starting grad school and moving. It's midterms this week, which is good and bad. Good because I can focus on those very intently without other thoughts, bad because I am already highly emotional and this is the most stressful point of the quarter so far.

Well, wish me luck.