I Have No Motivation.

Really. I don't. At least I got a really great night's sleep. I went to bed at 11pm (moderately early for me) and woke up (pretty perky) at 7am. But then I went back to sleep until 8:30am because I could. I actually thought I was going to die last night. No, for real. There was this weird smell in my room and I couldn't figure out what it was. Gas? Burnt rubber? Something. I thought I might either be poisoned by it and die in my sleep or that it might blow up the apartment complex and I would wake up to a fire in the middle of the night (or die by smoke inhalation). So I'm glad to be here today. I guess I should have motivation because I am alive. That doesn't seem as if it would contribute to a good night's sleep, but I got one regardless. PLUS, I dreamed that I was back in Green Bay for the day and I was driving to Minneapolis to visit Ashley. I don't know why it just happened to be Ashley, but it was.

I was in the weirdest mood last night; I think Kelly can testify. I am just this little ball of emotions that has these outbursts of...insanity every once and a while. Well, in the last few weeks, it has been much more recent. I know this is going to sound bizarre, but in order to get back on track emotionally, physically, spiritually, I have decided to fast today. I have always wanted to try it (Ash and I were going to do it for a day last spring, but never did) and I have been eating really poorly lately, so I thought I'd give it a whirl for one day. Apparently, according to Bonnie (who observed the Muslim religion - which requires fasting during the month of Ramadan - during her freshman year of high school), fasting is supposed to give one a mental clarity of sorts because it rids one of "material" thought such as what to eat for the next meal, etc. I thought that was interesting and so far, I am finding that I have pondered less about food today. It's an fascinating little experiment and I recommend everyone try it at least once in their lives. The only problem with practicing it for one day? I am really looking forward to tomorrow. But I have decided that, in order to buffer the effects of only fasting for one day, I will eat only fruits and veggies tomorrow. Then, on Thursday, I will return to my normal eating habits. My motto for today? LOTS OF WATER. (Though Muslim tradition says that one cannot swallow ANYTHING while fasting - it would invalidate the fast - not even spit that is gathered in the mouth. Interesting, huh?)

Oh, I would also like to recommend that everyone see the documentary "The Boys of Baraka." Kel and I went to see it on Sunday and it was fabulous. Very moving with heavy content, but worth seeing. And how about those Oscars? I need to see Crash now that it was named the best picture of 2005. AND, I can't believe "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" won best song!! So cool. It's actually a pretty decent song, if I do say so myself. Jon Stewart was funny when he said, "For the Oscar record, 3-6 Mafia - one. Martin Scorsese - zero." Ha! I think this year really changed the face of the Oscars as we know it with Brokeback Mountain's content about gay men, Transamerica's story about a transsexual, Hustle and Flow's now award-winning song about pimps, and JEANS! So cool. Did anyone see that? I loved it - so my style.

Yesterday, Kel and I did what is called a Person Centered Plan (PCP - but not the drug) for a boy named with spastic cerebral palsy. PCPs are meetings for students with special needs that encourage communication and nurture the positive traits of the individual while developing a plan for what can be done to improve the student's experience at school and help him/her access the general curriculum. It's for one of our classes. It was really interesting and really inspiring! But, it was also a really long day. Kel and I had a break right in between observing and faciliating the meeting, so we sat at this ghetto burger joint called Herfy's (say this three times fast and tell me what it sounds like afterwards) for over two hours. It was really friggin pathetic because I didn't even buy anything - I had brought a lunch! Haha! And to top it all off, we spent the entire time browsing through a wedding magazine. Oh geez.

Okay, well, I really have to get going to so some work. I miss everyone very much!