Happy Friday the 13th!

SO. I just figured something out today that I believe to be really profound. I think that life is just a compilation of shifts in our respective identities and how we respond to those shifts is essentially what we call our development or our life or our perspective. I mean, it's all relative, but we each have our own sets of identities and ways in which we cope with having to switch and/or lose identities. For example, I lost a little part of my Wisconsin identity when I had to get a Washington driver's license. And now, those who see my Washington license don't know that I am really from Wisconsin; they don't know that wholesome Wisconsin part of me. My identity has to switch to accomodate this new part of me that didn't exist before. I've been thinking a lot about this in terms of eating disorders as well. I think that this is really a problem for people who suffer from ED because they have an identity not only built around being thin (or heavy, depending on the ED), but they also have their identity built around having an eating disorder. When that goes away, what will happen to them? They will no longer be defined by their ED or their weight, which, I'm sure, is terrifying. Many times, we don't or can't adjust to different and/or changing identities out of sheer terror. Another example would be relationships. Who am I without a boyfriend? Who am I with a girlfriend? Does this make me too feminine? Am I a "wussy" because I like to hold hands? All of these little pieces add up to form our respective identities and then, when we find ourselves without them (on the verge of a relationship or healing from a breakup), suddenly, we wonder how we will ever fit all of the new "stuff" into our definition of ourselves. Then, we think that everyone is judging us just as harshly as we are judging ourselves, which doesn't make it any easier.

I suppose that's just food for thought. It's been festering for a while, so it feels good to get it on paper. Oh, and something big happened today, but you're gonna have to wait for it. In fact, if you talk to me, don't ask me about it. PLEASE. You'll know when you know. Trust me.